Post by rachy on May 14, 2010 3:00:32 GMT -8
Title: Explanations [3/?]
Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Summary: Lily reflects on an old friend and learns new things about another.
At breakfast the next morning, I felt incredibly selfish. All my friends were still alive. I could still eat breakfast with my friends Lara Green and Gwen Richardson at our house table. Others weren't lucky. There were spaces along the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff tables. Surprisingly, I could even see a gap along the Slytherin table. I could see tear-streaked faces through the crowds, and I grieved for them. I could see my friends in the other houses doing the same thing I was–checking that their friends were still alive.
"Did you hear, Lil?" asked Gwen sadly. "Belle went home for Christmas. She and her older sister went to pick up her sister's boyfriend for Christmas. When they got there, the Dark Mark was over the house. The house was ruined, blown to bits. It was like one of those Muggle things, you know those things they blow up in wars?"
"Bombs?" Lara supplied. She was half-Muggle, half-witch.
"Yeah, bombs. So her sister's a mess, she's in shock, crying her eyes out and saying his name. Belle got word to the Ministry and they came, but it was too late. They'd left no sign, nothing."
I swore softly. "How's Belle then?"
"Okay, I think. Her sister's not too good, but what can you expect? I'd die if that happened to me. I think I'd die if I was in Belle's position. It's just so horrible. When's it going to end?"
Gwen's news over breakfast put a damper over the rest of the day. I expected Potter and Snape to get into a fight, but to my astonishment, they didn't. Seemed like Potter was still in shock, or just really didn't care to notice that Snape was being incredibly spiteful towards him. Black noticed, though, maybe because Snape was being filthy to him too. Luckily we were too busy preparing an extremely difficult potion for Slughorn, so instead of cursing at each other under their breath as usual, they were cursing at their potions (or at least Black was. Snape's was just as good as mine, if not slightly better).
I watched Snape walk away and I shook my head inwardly. It still hurt sometimes, to remember that Snape and I had been friends. All the things between us had happened less then a year ago, but it still hurt every time he and Potter fought. I would never regret the choice I had made. I would never join Voldemort, or accept anything to do with Death Eaters or Dark Arts. It took Severus a while to realize that, and to realize that one day we would go along different paths. We had both thought that the other would change their mind before that happened, and that the time would not come so soon. He had chosen becoming a Death Eater over his Mudblood, Dark Arts-loathing best friend. He'd chosen evil over good. I'd placed my lots with the supposed 'Order of the Phoenix' and I didn't regret it. Not now. Chances are, whatever side we were on, we would still watch our friends and family die. Louisa Potter had already died for doing the right thing. She wouldn't be the last.
Remus was acting strange on prefect duty later that day. He was more subdued than normal and looked tired and worn out. We walked up the main staircase, going past the door I knew led to the Hufflepuff common room. It drew my thoughts to a certain, arrogant seventh year git who resided there and I felt annoyed again. Why, oh why, did I go out with Rob? I mean, yeah, he was pretty good looking, and I knew I was a sucker for guys with cute smiles. And there was the longish, white-blonde, floppy hair which was straighter than mine (but mine was natural), and the eyes that used to look like they changed color. But after about three weeks they had turned unremarkable and swampy colored. He was a bit shorter then me, too, but was a good Quidditch player and smart, funny, and sweet and I suppose I was flattered at first. And then he turned into one of those guys that are just…ew. They're stuck up, rude, stupid, have a bad sense of humour, and care way way way too much about what everyone thinks of them and whether their hair is sitting right. And maybe I exaggerated. But WHY did I go out with him? Because I was stupid and couldn't see that he was actually more of a prat than Potter at his worst. I don't normally go for guys based on looks alone and now I know why. I mean, Potter's better looking, nicer, smarter, completely 'apparently' in love with me but…he needs to grow up, lose the attitude, deflate his massive ego, stop hexing people for the fun of it, stop playing with that infernally stupid Snitch when he's not even Seeker and, for the love of God, stop messing up his hair so it looks windswept. It looks perfectly fine as it is. The stuck-up bit at the back is kind of cute, even if it is the tiniest bit annoying.
I was definitely startled when I heard Remus' quiet voice.
"So what happened with you and Rob? You two obviously aren't going out, otherwise you would have sat with him instead of us on the train."
"Well…we broke up. Or rather, he broke up with me," I replied. "We had a fight on the train home, and things had been tense between us since the Hogsmeade visit when Lara, Pettigrew, Potter, you, and I were walking around Hogsmeade."
Remus snorted. "Oh yeah. We were all hanging out 'cause Noah and Gwen had their first date, wasn't it? And Sirius was on that date with that girl in Hufflepuff the year above us, and James and I didn't have anyone else to hang with."
"Yeah. And then Potter, being his usual, juvenile, immature self, chucked a snowball at you and started a snowball fight. I was all ready to get Potter and then you and he ganged up on me and stuck snow all down the back of my shirt. Turns out Rob had walked by and saw. So we had a fight over that because he was upset I wasn't spending precious time with him." I sighed. Rob, paranoid git that he was, had gotten very mad that I was hanging out with Potter, despite the fact that it was extremely clear that I hated him, and Remus, who Rob just didn't like. So basically, Rob was paranoid about Remus 'seducing' me and, also according to him, I had feelings for Potter. But that was before Christmas. I mean after, I was apparently having affairs with both of them, and making a name for myself as a bit of a two-timing cow. Seriously. I mean, it was news to me that I have feelings for Potter and Remus. I seriously, seriously am ecstatic that Rob broke up with me because if I broke up with him, who knows? I'd be 'in a relationship' with the Giant Squid, or worse, Professor Slughorn. But Remus really didn't need to know about Rob's paranoid thoughts. He really didn't need to know because he'd tell Potter. There was no way that Remus would ever find out, which would mean Potter would never find out.
"So how's Potter?" I asked. Remus looked at me in shock. "What? On the train, he said Louisa died. That's his cousin, right? I didn't hear about it before, and it was obviously a touchy subject. It's not against the law to want to know is it?"
Remus looked thoughtfully at me, before a tiny smirk crossed his features and he looked away. "You probably heard about You-Know-Who's attack in London. On Boxing Day,"
My mind flashed back. Dinner. The news. The explosion which had killed over a hundred people. My face paled. "No," I murmured softly. "No."
Remus swallowed. "Yeah. He murdered over one hundred people to get to one witch. James said that Louisa was an undercover Auror. She'd been working on something, and she'd gone and been working in the factory for a couple of months. You remember her a little bit, don't you? She was here a few years back, about sixth when we were in first. She was Quidditch captain."
I strained my memory. From what I could remember she was pretty, popular, smart and incredibly outgoing. I nodded slightly.
Remus' voice went quieter as he said, "And You-Know-Who wanted her on his side. She was working on something that he didn't want to go ahead. So he and his Death Eaters paid a visit to London to try and persuade her. She said no. He blew up the factory and they killed everyone in the vicinity. He saved her for last, tortured her, and showed her what her one simple word had done. Aurors came, and as they were Apparating, he murdered her right before their eyes. And then they all Disapparated."
I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Tell Potter. Tell Potter I'm sorry. Please."
The next few corridors were walked with silence. Remus looked at me sharply.
"Lily…there's something you need to know."
I followed him to the door of a nearby classroom. He withdrew his wand and said, "Alohomora." I sat on a desk facing the board. I glanced at Remus. He looked worried and nervous. I stayed where I was, waiting patiently for whatever it was he wanted me to know. I noticed him swallow and take a deep breath, before turning to me, fidgeting.
"Look, Lily, I don't know if I've ever told you or mentioned anything that seems weird about me. I know that this is extremely mean, selfish and stupid for me not to have told you before, because I know what a good friend you are but it's for my own safety. For that I'm sorry. This is really hard to say, but Lily I'm a…."
"Werewolf" I supplied quietly. There was shock and worry displayed clearly on his face. He looked stunned, but there was a tiny bit of relief in his eyes.
"How long?" he croaked quietly.
"I never had it confirmed until now. I started putting the clues together in fifth year, when Prefect duty started. You seemed sick sometimes, when we had prefect duty before or a week or so after the full moon. You didn't have to tell me, you know. I would have kept my suspicions to myself. Snape always was convinced you were, and I kept telling him to drop it."
Remus grimaced. "And he was right, and he knows it."
"What?" I said in shock. "The Whomping Willow incident? When Potter saved his life… and - and it was from you. So Potter knows. And Black? Even Pettigrew? I thought he was lying."
"They figured it out. Around second year, I think. All the Marauders know. Snape had seen me go to the Shrieking Shack–it's where I stay when I'm transformed. Sirius told him, stupidly, how to get in. And then James heard, and saved Snape."
I was silent, putting it all together. It all made sense now, Snape and Potter and Black. I looked up at Remus.
"I'm sorry Remus. I'm so sorry. But I swear, I will tell no one. I'll do that Unbreakable Vow or whatever it is." I looked at him. "I swear, on my life, I will never tell anyone."
He looked relieved. "It's all right, Lily. I've learnt to live with it, and to be grateful for everything. I knew that I could trust you, which is why I told you now. It's starting to seem now that the end's getting closer. I didn't want you to find out after I'd died, or something, and associate me with those werewolves who are staring to fight for…for Voldemort."
"If you ever need anyone for anything Remus, I want you to know that you can count on me and I will be there."
He nodded. "I'll remember that." He smiled and led the way to the door, and I followed him out.
Two weeks after Remus had told me the truth I was awoken earlier then what I would have liked by Gwen ripping open my curtains and directing a wrapped box at my head.
"Lils, if I'm up early 'cause you're of age, then you're up early and drinking in the air and the bottle of Butterbeer we have all ready. It'll be really unsightly if you don't wake up, 'cause we're really tempted to drag you into the guys's sixth year dormitories and see what Potter gives you."
"Well it's obvious you're not a morning person, isn't it? If I'm birthday girl, I sleep in!" I felt hands seize me around the ankles, and I kicked them away.
"Okay, okay. I'm up. No dragging me into the guy's dormitories, not now, not ever." Gwen's smile beamed, and she reached around me, grabbing the present she had earlier ditched at my head. I took it out of her hands, and ripped it open to the excited squeals of Lara and Gwen. It was a beautiful, elegant watch in silver with tiny diamonds and rubies around the edge with silver planets. I stared at it, gobsmacked and in absolute awe.
"You shouldn't have gotten it. It would have been far too expensive, way too much."
"Don't pretend you don't love it to bits. We got some from your parents, Noah, Remus, Mary…even Clarissa and Darcy and the other Marauders chipped in a bit, Clarissa only if we put a strong sleeping draught on her and got her her own mirror, but still."
"It's beautiful, guys. Thank you so much."
"No worries, Lils. It helps that Noah's dad is like a wizard watchmaker, but anyway. It's not like you don't spoil us enough."
I carefully took the silver watch out of the box and put it on. I was admiring it for a while before I realized that I still had more presents. I had a box of chocolates from everyone as well and money and some new clothes from my parents. I thanked everyone again and looked over the gifts as everyone went to get ready. A tapping at the window beside me made me jump, and I saw Jonah hovering there. I opened the window and held out my hand. He hopped through resting his claws lightly on my fingers. I untied a tiny scroll from his leg before letting him fly out. I shut the window, and tapped the scroll with my wand. It opened, and with dismay, I read.
Happy seventeenth, Lily.
I let the note flutter to the floor. I wiped my eyes angrily, glad to not feel tears. Snape was trying for forgiveness…or was it just for old time's sake. Either way, it didn't matter. I picked up the scroll and focused all my anger on my wand. Flames spat from the tip and ignited the parchment, leaving ash in my hands. I dusted it off and resisted the temptation to spit after it. Severus Snape was history.
Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Summary: Lily reflects on an old friend and learns new things about another.
At breakfast the next morning, I felt incredibly selfish. All my friends were still alive. I could still eat breakfast with my friends Lara Green and Gwen Richardson at our house table. Others weren't lucky. There were spaces along the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff tables. Surprisingly, I could even see a gap along the Slytherin table. I could see tear-streaked faces through the crowds, and I grieved for them. I could see my friends in the other houses doing the same thing I was–checking that their friends were still alive.
"Did you hear, Lil?" asked Gwen sadly. "Belle went home for Christmas. She and her older sister went to pick up her sister's boyfriend for Christmas. When they got there, the Dark Mark was over the house. The house was ruined, blown to bits. It was like one of those Muggle things, you know those things they blow up in wars?"
"Bombs?" Lara supplied. She was half-Muggle, half-witch.
"Yeah, bombs. So her sister's a mess, she's in shock, crying her eyes out and saying his name. Belle got word to the Ministry and they came, but it was too late. They'd left no sign, nothing."
I swore softly. "How's Belle then?"
"Okay, I think. Her sister's not too good, but what can you expect? I'd die if that happened to me. I think I'd die if I was in Belle's position. It's just so horrible. When's it going to end?"
Gwen's news over breakfast put a damper over the rest of the day. I expected Potter and Snape to get into a fight, but to my astonishment, they didn't. Seemed like Potter was still in shock, or just really didn't care to notice that Snape was being incredibly spiteful towards him. Black noticed, though, maybe because Snape was being filthy to him too. Luckily we were too busy preparing an extremely difficult potion for Slughorn, so instead of cursing at each other under their breath as usual, they were cursing at their potions (or at least Black was. Snape's was just as good as mine, if not slightly better).
I watched Snape walk away and I shook my head inwardly. It still hurt sometimes, to remember that Snape and I had been friends. All the things between us had happened less then a year ago, but it still hurt every time he and Potter fought. I would never regret the choice I had made. I would never join Voldemort, or accept anything to do with Death Eaters or Dark Arts. It took Severus a while to realize that, and to realize that one day we would go along different paths. We had both thought that the other would change their mind before that happened, and that the time would not come so soon. He had chosen becoming a Death Eater over his Mudblood, Dark Arts-loathing best friend. He'd chosen evil over good. I'd placed my lots with the supposed 'Order of the Phoenix' and I didn't regret it. Not now. Chances are, whatever side we were on, we would still watch our friends and family die. Louisa Potter had already died for doing the right thing. She wouldn't be the last.
Remus was acting strange on prefect duty later that day. He was more subdued than normal and looked tired and worn out. We walked up the main staircase, going past the door I knew led to the Hufflepuff common room. It drew my thoughts to a certain, arrogant seventh year git who resided there and I felt annoyed again. Why, oh why, did I go out with Rob? I mean, yeah, he was pretty good looking, and I knew I was a sucker for guys with cute smiles. And there was the longish, white-blonde, floppy hair which was straighter than mine (but mine was natural), and the eyes that used to look like they changed color. But after about three weeks they had turned unremarkable and swampy colored. He was a bit shorter then me, too, but was a good Quidditch player and smart, funny, and sweet and I suppose I was flattered at first. And then he turned into one of those guys that are just…ew. They're stuck up, rude, stupid, have a bad sense of humour, and care way way way too much about what everyone thinks of them and whether their hair is sitting right. And maybe I exaggerated. But WHY did I go out with him? Because I was stupid and couldn't see that he was actually more of a prat than Potter at his worst. I don't normally go for guys based on looks alone and now I know why. I mean, Potter's better looking, nicer, smarter, completely 'apparently' in love with me but…he needs to grow up, lose the attitude, deflate his massive ego, stop hexing people for the fun of it, stop playing with that infernally stupid Snitch when he's not even Seeker and, for the love of God, stop messing up his hair so it looks windswept. It looks perfectly fine as it is. The stuck-up bit at the back is kind of cute, even if it is the tiniest bit annoying.
I was definitely startled when I heard Remus' quiet voice.
"So what happened with you and Rob? You two obviously aren't going out, otherwise you would have sat with him instead of us on the train."
"Well…we broke up. Or rather, he broke up with me," I replied. "We had a fight on the train home, and things had been tense between us since the Hogsmeade visit when Lara, Pettigrew, Potter, you, and I were walking around Hogsmeade."
Remus snorted. "Oh yeah. We were all hanging out 'cause Noah and Gwen had their first date, wasn't it? And Sirius was on that date with that girl in Hufflepuff the year above us, and James and I didn't have anyone else to hang with."
"Yeah. And then Potter, being his usual, juvenile, immature self, chucked a snowball at you and started a snowball fight. I was all ready to get Potter and then you and he ganged up on me and stuck snow all down the back of my shirt. Turns out Rob had walked by and saw. So we had a fight over that because he was upset I wasn't spending precious time with him." I sighed. Rob, paranoid git that he was, had gotten very mad that I was hanging out with Potter, despite the fact that it was extremely clear that I hated him, and Remus, who Rob just didn't like. So basically, Rob was paranoid about Remus 'seducing' me and, also according to him, I had feelings for Potter. But that was before Christmas. I mean after, I was apparently having affairs with both of them, and making a name for myself as a bit of a two-timing cow. Seriously. I mean, it was news to me that I have feelings for Potter and Remus. I seriously, seriously am ecstatic that Rob broke up with me because if I broke up with him, who knows? I'd be 'in a relationship' with the Giant Squid, or worse, Professor Slughorn. But Remus really didn't need to know about Rob's paranoid thoughts. He really didn't need to know because he'd tell Potter. There was no way that Remus would ever find out, which would mean Potter would never find out.
"So how's Potter?" I asked. Remus looked at me in shock. "What? On the train, he said Louisa died. That's his cousin, right? I didn't hear about it before, and it was obviously a touchy subject. It's not against the law to want to know is it?"
Remus looked thoughtfully at me, before a tiny smirk crossed his features and he looked away. "You probably heard about You-Know-Who's attack in London. On Boxing Day,"
My mind flashed back. Dinner. The news. The explosion which had killed over a hundred people. My face paled. "No," I murmured softly. "No."
Remus swallowed. "Yeah. He murdered over one hundred people to get to one witch. James said that Louisa was an undercover Auror. She'd been working on something, and she'd gone and been working in the factory for a couple of months. You remember her a little bit, don't you? She was here a few years back, about sixth when we were in first. She was Quidditch captain."
I strained my memory. From what I could remember she was pretty, popular, smart and incredibly outgoing. I nodded slightly.
Remus' voice went quieter as he said, "And You-Know-Who wanted her on his side. She was working on something that he didn't want to go ahead. So he and his Death Eaters paid a visit to London to try and persuade her. She said no. He blew up the factory and they killed everyone in the vicinity. He saved her for last, tortured her, and showed her what her one simple word had done. Aurors came, and as they were Apparating, he murdered her right before their eyes. And then they all Disapparated."
I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Tell Potter. Tell Potter I'm sorry. Please."
The next few corridors were walked with silence. Remus looked at me sharply.
"Lily…there's something you need to know."
I followed him to the door of a nearby classroom. He withdrew his wand and said, "Alohomora." I sat on a desk facing the board. I glanced at Remus. He looked worried and nervous. I stayed where I was, waiting patiently for whatever it was he wanted me to know. I noticed him swallow and take a deep breath, before turning to me, fidgeting.
"Look, Lily, I don't know if I've ever told you or mentioned anything that seems weird about me. I know that this is extremely mean, selfish and stupid for me not to have told you before, because I know what a good friend you are but it's for my own safety. For that I'm sorry. This is really hard to say, but Lily I'm a…."
"Werewolf" I supplied quietly. There was shock and worry displayed clearly on his face. He looked stunned, but there was a tiny bit of relief in his eyes.
"How long?" he croaked quietly.
"I never had it confirmed until now. I started putting the clues together in fifth year, when Prefect duty started. You seemed sick sometimes, when we had prefect duty before or a week or so after the full moon. You didn't have to tell me, you know. I would have kept my suspicions to myself. Snape always was convinced you were, and I kept telling him to drop it."
Remus grimaced. "And he was right, and he knows it."
"What?" I said in shock. "The Whomping Willow incident? When Potter saved his life… and - and it was from you. So Potter knows. And Black? Even Pettigrew? I thought he was lying."
"They figured it out. Around second year, I think. All the Marauders know. Snape had seen me go to the Shrieking Shack–it's where I stay when I'm transformed. Sirius told him, stupidly, how to get in. And then James heard, and saved Snape."
I was silent, putting it all together. It all made sense now, Snape and Potter and Black. I looked up at Remus.
"I'm sorry Remus. I'm so sorry. But I swear, I will tell no one. I'll do that Unbreakable Vow or whatever it is." I looked at him. "I swear, on my life, I will never tell anyone."
He looked relieved. "It's all right, Lily. I've learnt to live with it, and to be grateful for everything. I knew that I could trust you, which is why I told you now. It's starting to seem now that the end's getting closer. I didn't want you to find out after I'd died, or something, and associate me with those werewolves who are staring to fight for…for Voldemort."
"If you ever need anyone for anything Remus, I want you to know that you can count on me and I will be there."
He nodded. "I'll remember that." He smiled and led the way to the door, and I followed him out.
Two weeks after Remus had told me the truth I was awoken earlier then what I would have liked by Gwen ripping open my curtains and directing a wrapped box at my head.
"Lils, if I'm up early 'cause you're of age, then you're up early and drinking in the air and the bottle of Butterbeer we have all ready. It'll be really unsightly if you don't wake up, 'cause we're really tempted to drag you into the guys's sixth year dormitories and see what Potter gives you."
"Well it's obvious you're not a morning person, isn't it? If I'm birthday girl, I sleep in!" I felt hands seize me around the ankles, and I kicked them away.
"Okay, okay. I'm up. No dragging me into the guy's dormitories, not now, not ever." Gwen's smile beamed, and she reached around me, grabbing the present she had earlier ditched at my head. I took it out of her hands, and ripped it open to the excited squeals of Lara and Gwen. It was a beautiful, elegant watch in silver with tiny diamonds and rubies around the edge with silver planets. I stared at it, gobsmacked and in absolute awe.
"You shouldn't have gotten it. It would have been far too expensive, way too much."
"Don't pretend you don't love it to bits. We got some from your parents, Noah, Remus, Mary…even Clarissa and Darcy and the other Marauders chipped in a bit, Clarissa only if we put a strong sleeping draught on her and got her her own mirror, but still."
"It's beautiful, guys. Thank you so much."
"No worries, Lils. It helps that Noah's dad is like a wizard watchmaker, but anyway. It's not like you don't spoil us enough."
I carefully took the silver watch out of the box and put it on. I was admiring it for a while before I realized that I still had more presents. I had a box of chocolates from everyone as well and money and some new clothes from my parents. I thanked everyone again and looked over the gifts as everyone went to get ready. A tapping at the window beside me made me jump, and I saw Jonah hovering there. I opened the window and held out my hand. He hopped through resting his claws lightly on my fingers. I untied a tiny scroll from his leg before letting him fly out. I shut the window, and tapped the scroll with my wand. It opened, and with dismay, I read.
Happy seventeenth, Lily.
I let the note flutter to the floor. I wiped my eyes angrily, glad to not feel tears. Snape was trying for forgiveness…or was it just for old time's sake. Either way, it didn't matter. I picked up the scroll and focused all my anger on my wand. Flames spat from the tip and ignited the parchment, leaving ash in my hands. I dusted it off and resisted the temptation to spit after it. Severus Snape was history.