Post by swe13tie on Jun 30, 2011 19:29:46 GMT -8
I wrote this with my cousin, and we both posted it on fanfiction, but I figured it might get a few laughs here, but warning, there is slight bashing of both books/movies.
"Prepare to die, Potter!" Voldemort yelled, pulling his wand out and pointing it at Harry.
Harry laughed. "Your accent is funny!"
"Harry, stay with the script!" Voldemort said in a harsh whisper.
"Alright, alright," Harry said. "Soo, um, uh, LINE!"
"I can't take this!" Voldemort yelled. "I'll be in my trailer!"
Harry held up his hand. "STOP!... In the name of love!"
"Oh my gosh stop singing!" The villain threw his hands over his ears and started to run.
"Immobulus!" Harry yelled, aiming his wand at Voldemort.
As the spell hit Voldemort, his legs stuck together and his arms stock to his side.
"Heeey! That is soooo not cool!"
"Now who's not sticking to the script?" Harry said in a sing song voice
"You better undue this spell or else!"
"Or else what?" Harry asked folding his arms.
"Or else I'll kill your mum and dad!" He said laughing evilly.
"You already did that you berk!"
"Okay, then, I'll, umm... I'll tell Hermione that you use a nightlight."
Harry gasped. "You wouldn't!"
"I would!"
"Gasp! You ARE evil! Fine. Incantatum!"
"Now prepare to die Potter!"
"Noooo! Prom is next week and I'm taking that Asian girl whose name escapes me!"
"Well that's to bad cause your going to die!"
"Can you at least wait till after prom? Pleaseeeee!" Harry pleaded. "I'll give you a cookie."
"Wait, I thought that was my line to get you to convert to the dark side?"
"Well I'm using it, so ha!"
"How dare you!" Voldemort yelled.
'Like this: I'll give you a cookie. Ha!"
"Harry stills sleeps with a nightlight!" Voldemort yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.
"But you promised!" Harry whined.
"I promised not to tell Hermione. I didn't promise not to tell everyone else."
Hermione walked into the room. "Yeah, but I still heard." She turned to Voldemort. "You yell really loud."
"Noooo! My social life is ruined!" Harry yelled.
"Oh come off it Harry," Hermione said. "Ron already told me."
"How dare he!"
Voldemort started laughing.
"Stop laughing or I'll tell the whole world you sleep with a teddy bear!" Harry yelled at his enemy.
"You wouldn't!"
"Ooops... just did!"
"Will you two just knock it off!" Hermione yelled.
"Quiet or I'll tell everyone you want to be a ballerina!" Harry yelled at one of his best friends.
"You would never!" Hermione gasped.
"Oops," Voldemort said covering his mouth with his hand. "He just did."
"Will the three of you stop so we can start filming?" The director yelled.
"Shut up!" Harry, Hermione, and Voldemort yelled at the director.
"Orchideous!" A mysterious voice called. There was a bright light and when it faded everyone was covered in flowers.
"What the?" Harry said, pulling a daisy out of his hair.
Ginny walked over to Harry, holding her wand up. "My brother told me you guys were fighting, so I came here to stop you," she said.
"With flowers?" Voldemort asked smirking.
"I don't know many spells," she said sheepishly.
The director walked over to them. "We can't film until all these flowers are cleaned up. So you guys can go, I'll have someone call you when were ready to film again."
"Wanna go get something to eat?" Hermione said.
Harry, Voldemort, and Ginny all nodded and said yes. They got onto their brooms and flew to the nearest McDonalds. There they saw their archenemies: the Twilight cast.
They parked there brooms next to Edward's silver Volvo and got off.
"What are you doing here?" Ginny said rudely to the Twilight characters.
"We are here to eat. What are you doing here?" Rosalie said just as rudely.
For all of you that are a little slow, Ginny and Rosalie didn't get along so well.
"We're here to eat too," Hermione said.
"So are we," Emmet snapped.
"Rosalie just said that," Harry said scoffing.
"What a blonde," Voldemort said under his breath.
"You got a problem with blondes!" Rosalie and Jasper snapped at the same time.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" Hermione suddenly yelled causing Edward's Volvo to float off.
Edward, who had been making out with Bella a few feet away, was oblivious to his trophy car floating away.
"Edward is going to kill us," Alice yelled jumping up trying to grab the Volvo.
"Oh no," Rosalie gasped. "Nessie's still in the car."
"That's just awesome. Now Bella's gonna kill us," Alice muttered still jumping.
Voldemort laughed. "That's what you get for messing with us."
Jasper practically flew over to Voldemort. "There's a little girl in that car!"
Voldemort waved his hands over himself. "Hello? Evil, remember?"
Ginny nodded her head and pulled out her wand. And just as she cast the spell that brought the car down her brother, Ron, landed his broomstick right next to her.
"Hey guys check out this cool plant I found," he said, holding a flower pot with green leaves sticking out of it.
"What's so special about it?" Jasper asked.
"Watch," Ron said, handing Hermione, Harry, and Ginny a pair of earphones, he also had a pair himself.
"I'm out of here," Voldemort said knowingly. He got on his broom and flew off.
After the four wizards' earmuffs were in place, Ron pulled the plant out of the plot and a loud scream sounded.
All of the Twilight characters immediately fell gently to the ground along with Edward's Volvo. Ron then reburied the Mandrake and the four wizards went and celebrated the down fall of the Twilight characters with McFlurries.
"Prepare to die, Potter!" Voldemort yelled, pulling his wand out and pointing it at Harry.
Harry laughed. "Your accent is funny!"
"Harry, stay with the script!" Voldemort said in a harsh whisper.
"Alright, alright," Harry said. "Soo, um, uh, LINE!"
"I can't take this!" Voldemort yelled. "I'll be in my trailer!"
Harry held up his hand. "STOP!... In the name of love!"
"Oh my gosh stop singing!" The villain threw his hands over his ears and started to run.
"Immobulus!" Harry yelled, aiming his wand at Voldemort.
As the spell hit Voldemort, his legs stuck together and his arms stock to his side.
"Heeey! That is soooo not cool!"
"Now who's not sticking to the script?" Harry said in a sing song voice
"You better undue this spell or else!"
"Or else what?" Harry asked folding his arms.
"Or else I'll kill your mum and dad!" He said laughing evilly.
"You already did that you berk!"
"Okay, then, I'll, umm... I'll tell Hermione that you use a nightlight."
Harry gasped. "You wouldn't!"
"I would!"
"Gasp! You ARE evil! Fine. Incantatum!"
"Now prepare to die Potter!"
"Noooo! Prom is next week and I'm taking that Asian girl whose name escapes me!"
"Well that's to bad cause your going to die!"
"Can you at least wait till after prom? Pleaseeeee!" Harry pleaded. "I'll give you a cookie."
"Wait, I thought that was my line to get you to convert to the dark side?"
"Well I'm using it, so ha!"
"How dare you!" Voldemort yelled.
'Like this: I'll give you a cookie. Ha!"
"Harry stills sleeps with a nightlight!" Voldemort yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.
"But you promised!" Harry whined.
"I promised not to tell Hermione. I didn't promise not to tell everyone else."
Hermione walked into the room. "Yeah, but I still heard." She turned to Voldemort. "You yell really loud."
"Noooo! My social life is ruined!" Harry yelled.
"Oh come off it Harry," Hermione said. "Ron already told me."
"How dare he!"
Voldemort started laughing.
"Stop laughing or I'll tell the whole world you sleep with a teddy bear!" Harry yelled at his enemy.
"You wouldn't!"
"Ooops... just did!"
"Will you two just knock it off!" Hermione yelled.
"Quiet or I'll tell everyone you want to be a ballerina!" Harry yelled at one of his best friends.
"You would never!" Hermione gasped.
"Oops," Voldemort said covering his mouth with his hand. "He just did."
"Will the three of you stop so we can start filming?" The director yelled.
"Shut up!" Harry, Hermione, and Voldemort yelled at the director.
"Orchideous!" A mysterious voice called. There was a bright light and when it faded everyone was covered in flowers.
"What the?" Harry said, pulling a daisy out of his hair.
Ginny walked over to Harry, holding her wand up. "My brother told me you guys were fighting, so I came here to stop you," she said.
"With flowers?" Voldemort asked smirking.
"I don't know many spells," she said sheepishly.
The director walked over to them. "We can't film until all these flowers are cleaned up. So you guys can go, I'll have someone call you when were ready to film again."
"Wanna go get something to eat?" Hermione said.
Harry, Voldemort, and Ginny all nodded and said yes. They got onto their brooms and flew to the nearest McDonalds. There they saw their archenemies: the Twilight cast.
They parked there brooms next to Edward's silver Volvo and got off.
"What are you doing here?" Ginny said rudely to the Twilight characters.
"We are here to eat. What are you doing here?" Rosalie said just as rudely.
For all of you that are a little slow, Ginny and Rosalie didn't get along so well.
"We're here to eat too," Hermione said.
"So are we," Emmet snapped.
"Rosalie just said that," Harry said scoffing.
"What a blonde," Voldemort said under his breath.
"You got a problem with blondes!" Rosalie and Jasper snapped at the same time.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" Hermione suddenly yelled causing Edward's Volvo to float off.
Edward, who had been making out with Bella a few feet away, was oblivious to his trophy car floating away.
"Edward is going to kill us," Alice yelled jumping up trying to grab the Volvo.
"Oh no," Rosalie gasped. "Nessie's still in the car."
"That's just awesome. Now Bella's gonna kill us," Alice muttered still jumping.
Voldemort laughed. "That's what you get for messing with us."
Jasper practically flew over to Voldemort. "There's a little girl in that car!"
Voldemort waved his hands over himself. "Hello? Evil, remember?"
Ginny nodded her head and pulled out her wand. And just as she cast the spell that brought the car down her brother, Ron, landed his broomstick right next to her.
"Hey guys check out this cool plant I found," he said, holding a flower pot with green leaves sticking out of it.
"What's so special about it?" Jasper asked.
"Watch," Ron said, handing Hermione, Harry, and Ginny a pair of earphones, he also had a pair himself.
"I'm out of here," Voldemort said knowingly. He got on his broom and flew off.
After the four wizards' earmuffs were in place, Ron pulled the plant out of the plot and a loud scream sounded.
All of the Twilight characters immediately fell gently to the ground along with Edward's Volvo. Ron then reburied the Mandrake and the four wizards went and celebrated the down fall of the Twilight characters with McFlurries.