Post by Zoe on Jan 9, 2012 21:10:15 GMT -8
Title: The Birds and the Bees
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 714
Warnings (if any): Talk of sex, use of words describing male and female anatomy. Also, The ages of Teddy, James, Al, and Lily and the age difference between them may not be cannon compliant.
Summary: Teddy has a question for Harry.
Harry glanced up from the table as his godson Teddy knocked awkwardly on the door frame.
“Er, can I come in?” Teddy asked, somewhat timidly.
“Of course! Sit down, have you had lunch yet? You’ve just missed James and Al. We just sent them over to the burrow for the day.” Ginny replied, gesturing for Teddy to join them at the table.
Teddy shifted awkwardly before shuffling into the kitchen and sitting. “I’ve already ate, thanks though.” The words came out mumbled, and Harry exchanged a bemused glance with Ginny. “I actually wanted to ask Harry something.”
“Of course, is everything alright Teddy?” Harry asked, somewhat concerned by his godson’s behaviour. Teddy was nearly ten years old, and most often loud and boisterous. The timid behaviour was usually reserved for when something was wrong.
“Howdoyouhavesex?” The question came out in a rush, but Harry understood it nonetheless. Harry could feel the blood draining from his face as he shot a panicked glance at his wife.
Ginny however didn’t look terribly sympathetic to Harry’s plight. On the contrary she looked highly amused, and Harry could see her mouth twitching. “Well, I’ll just leave you two alone to talk then shall I?”
Teddy just nodded, but Harry shot her one last pleading look as she left. “Oh. Wouldn’t you rather, er, talk to your grandmother about this?”
Teddy just shook his head, blushing and gazing intently at the floor. “Right. Right, of course you don’t. “ Harry, still panicking, looked to the ceiling for inspiration. Well, he thought somewhat bitterly due to the current situation, the Dursley’s no question policy certainly wasn’t going to help him here. How was he supposed to give a talk about something that he had received himself?
“Okay. Right. Well, you know where babies come from right?”
Teddy just nodded in reply. “Okay. Okay good. Um, and you know how they are made?”
Teddy nodded again. “I know all that you have to have sex to make a baby. I just don’t know how you’re supposed to do it exactly. Err, sex I mean.”
“You want to know how to have sex?”
“Yeah.” The first thing that crossed Harry’s mind at that statement was why on earth a nine year old would want to know that. The second thing that crossed his mind was how exactly Teddy intended to use this information.
“Right. Okay. You want to know the mechanics.” It was going to be okay, he would get through this. Hopefully he would get through it without scarring Teddy (or himself) for life.
“Well, you know how men and women have different...er... parts?”
Teddy nodded. “Women have a Vagina, and that’s where the baby comes out.”
“Yes, exactly. Well the female parts are like a kind of hole, and to have sex the man has to put his parts into hers.” Harry cringed as he finished.
Teddy just stared at him wide,-eyed. “You mean we stab them with our penis? Wouldn’t that hurt?”
“Er, well yes sometimes.”
“That doesn’t sound easy. Wouldn’t the girl be afraid if the guy was trying to get her with his penis? And how are you supposed to get it in her?”
“Well,” Harry said delicately “when you’re having sex it should be with someone you love and only when you both want to, so she wouldn’t be afraid because that’s what she wants you to do. In that situation. And it’s not hard exactly. You’d both be, er, naked so it wouldn’t be hard to, um, put it in her because there wouldn’t be any obsticles. Well, unless she was a virgin.” Harry was now staring at a spot on the wall just above Teddy’s head.
“You mean we have to be NAKED?!”
That night after Teddy had gone home and James and Al had been put to bed, and Harry was in bed with Ginny he could feel her shift to look at him. “You stab us with your penises huh?” She asked bemusedly.
“That’s not that way I said it.” He said, pouting slightly.
“Well,” she said “I promise that if you want to stab me with your penis I won’t be afraid....”
“Oh?” Harry raised his eyebrows. “Not even if I do this?”
Approximately nine months later Lily Luna Potter was born.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 714
Warnings (if any): Talk of sex, use of words describing male and female anatomy. Also, The ages of Teddy, James, Al, and Lily and the age difference between them may not be cannon compliant.
Summary: Teddy has a question for Harry.
Harry glanced up from the table as his godson Teddy knocked awkwardly on the door frame.
“Er, can I come in?” Teddy asked, somewhat timidly.
“Of course! Sit down, have you had lunch yet? You’ve just missed James and Al. We just sent them over to the burrow for the day.” Ginny replied, gesturing for Teddy to join them at the table.
Teddy shifted awkwardly before shuffling into the kitchen and sitting. “I’ve already ate, thanks though.” The words came out mumbled, and Harry exchanged a bemused glance with Ginny. “I actually wanted to ask Harry something.”
“Of course, is everything alright Teddy?” Harry asked, somewhat concerned by his godson’s behaviour. Teddy was nearly ten years old, and most often loud and boisterous. The timid behaviour was usually reserved for when something was wrong.
“Howdoyouhavesex?” The question came out in a rush, but Harry understood it nonetheless. Harry could feel the blood draining from his face as he shot a panicked glance at his wife.
Ginny however didn’t look terribly sympathetic to Harry’s plight. On the contrary she looked highly amused, and Harry could see her mouth twitching. “Well, I’ll just leave you two alone to talk then shall I?”
Teddy just nodded, but Harry shot her one last pleading look as she left. “Oh. Wouldn’t you rather, er, talk to your grandmother about this?”
Teddy just shook his head, blushing and gazing intently at the floor. “Right. Right, of course you don’t. “ Harry, still panicking, looked to the ceiling for inspiration. Well, he thought somewhat bitterly due to the current situation, the Dursley’s no question policy certainly wasn’t going to help him here. How was he supposed to give a talk about something that he had received himself?
“Okay. Right. Well, you know where babies come from right?”
Teddy just nodded in reply. “Okay. Okay good. Um, and you know how they are made?”
Teddy nodded again. “I know all that you have to have sex to make a baby. I just don’t know how you’re supposed to do it exactly. Err, sex I mean.”
“You want to know how to have sex?”
“Yeah.” The first thing that crossed Harry’s mind at that statement was why on earth a nine year old would want to know that. The second thing that crossed his mind was how exactly Teddy intended to use this information.
“Right. Okay. You want to know the mechanics.” It was going to be okay, he would get through this. Hopefully he would get through it without scarring Teddy (or himself) for life.
“Well, you know how men and women have different...er... parts?”
Teddy nodded. “Women have a Vagina, and that’s where the baby comes out.”
“Yes, exactly. Well the female parts are like a kind of hole, and to have sex the man has to put his parts into hers.” Harry cringed as he finished.
Teddy just stared at him wide,-eyed. “You mean we stab them with our penis? Wouldn’t that hurt?”
“Er, well yes sometimes.”
“That doesn’t sound easy. Wouldn’t the girl be afraid if the guy was trying to get her with his penis? And how are you supposed to get it in her?”
“Well,” Harry said delicately “when you’re having sex it should be with someone you love and only when you both want to, so she wouldn’t be afraid because that’s what she wants you to do. In that situation. And it’s not hard exactly. You’d both be, er, naked so it wouldn’t be hard to, um, put it in her because there wouldn’t be any obsticles. Well, unless she was a virgin.” Harry was now staring at a spot on the wall just above Teddy’s head.
“You mean we have to be NAKED?!”
That night after Teddy had gone home and James and Al had been put to bed, and Harry was in bed with Ginny he could feel her shift to look at him. “You stab us with your penises huh?” She asked bemusedly.
“That’s not that way I said it.” He said, pouting slightly.
“Well,” she said “I promise that if you want to stab me with your penis I won’t be afraid....”
“Oh?” Harry raised his eyebrows. “Not even if I do this?”
Approximately nine months later Lily Luna Potter was born.